It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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