Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize