I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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