I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
