Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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