I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize