we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
