shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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