You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
