everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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