who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
