I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
