i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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