Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
