im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Two words: blizzard sex
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
