I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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