he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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