i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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