i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize