about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
