I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
