Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
