Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You've changed since you got that strap on
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize