someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
