I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
