Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the day after is always just damage control
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize