Quick, to the slutcave!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
