we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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