I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
