Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
