Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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