So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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