you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
