you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
