ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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