I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
