wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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