i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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