Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
