so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
