someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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