so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
