god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
