There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do herpes really smell.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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