Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you had me at cake vodka
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
