what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
