He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
