i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
