dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he thought i was a dude.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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