Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
