Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
