Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
