I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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