when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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