So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
