I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
