Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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