There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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