I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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