I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
this boner is exhausting
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I need a beard to bite.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
