Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
