Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i came on her dog
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
