I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
