My room smells like vodka and shame
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
