The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize